talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize