Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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