i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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