So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I need to sanitize my soul.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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