I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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