My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
