I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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