Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
