Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
