I want to have your abortion
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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