Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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