what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
