I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
3 2 1 whiskey
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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