if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
