Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
