we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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