My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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