Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
