i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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