we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
