Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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