Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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