come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
