Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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