I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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