ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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