Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
