I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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