There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
