How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
