Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
