Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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