Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
