a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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