my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
