Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
