The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
