Plan B is the new Plan A
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
