"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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