and you said cock pushups were impossible
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
