If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
