I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
