Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just high enough for therapy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
