I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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