I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
please come you make the beer taste better
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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