You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
