TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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