You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
