ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
