I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
